


The Things We Regret

by carryonwayward



Series: Catherine and Crowley [1]
Category: Supernatural, Supernatural RPF
Genre: F/M, Vanilla
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-21
Updated: 2013-05-13
Packaged: 2017-11-26 08:36:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/648658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carryonwayward/pseuds/carryonwayward
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Catherine's time is up. The hell hounds will come to collect in 2 weeks, but Crowley makes an unexpected early collection. Minor sexual content.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Catherine regretted the decision she’d made 10 years ago. The bar stank of stale cigarettes, sweat and rancid beer, but it served cheap booze and had a decent juke box. The neat Vodka burnt as she knocked back the dregs left in the bottom of her glass. Van Halens ‘Runnin’ with the Devil’ started to play. She hadn’t chosen the song, but the barman had been over there. Looking at the clock it was 3 am, 11 hours 14 days left. Where was he? He’d left for a cigarette 10 minutes ago, the solitude was fun, but now the glass was empty. 

The plan had been drink herself into oblivion then she could sleep and be ready to catch a flight to the remote shack she’d hired in the afternoon, giving her time to demon/hell hound proof the place and wait it out in the panic room. If they were coming she wasn’t going without making the hound’s job as hard as possible. She was ready with the salt, iron filings, Goofer dust and Devil’s shoe string. It was mixed together ready for the solvent to create an unmovable seal. All she had to do then was wait it out eating her year’s supply of tinned goods. 

The door shrieked on its hinges, “finally more Vodka”. She turned to the door expecting the emaciated frame of the bar man to walk in, but a dark haired man sauntered into the bar, his suite crisp and had the he had the stench of gangster all over him. He looked down on the tables and soiled carpet, taking time to stop and smile at the juke box. He took his place on the stool at the other end of the bar, taking a moment from his appraisal of his surroundings to look her straight in the eyes and smile.  
Great company! She could either get up and leave or stay and where else would she find a quiet bar open at this time in the morning.  
Instead of smiling back and inviting conversation she turned to her glass and examined the empty contents. His eyes remained on her, she could feel his gaze burning into the side of her head. “Catherine I presume?” his voice carried across the bar with a gravelly, smooth air of self-importance.  
He pronounced each word fully, making his accent hard to place, but he was definantly English. Why hadn’t she realised sooner, why would this guy even step into the bar? It was one of them. She hesitated “No, I think you have the wrong person.” she couldn’t manage a smile so it came out in a grimace, looking him in the eyes and hoping her lie had worked. Why did she hesitate? She’d been caught off guard by his voice, he could have just been asking her to dance, not calling her out and letting her know she’d been found. Why did they make Demons so sensual, creepy fork tongued bastards.  
He smiled at her in a disapproving one sided smirk “Let’s be done with the pleasantries Catherine. We both know you’re not fooling anyone, least of all me. Can we skip the bollocks and get on with this; I’m a very busy man. ”  
“So why the hell bother with me then” she raised her glass to drink absent mindedly forgetting it was empty.  
He adjusted his tie, tweaked his cuff links and gritted his teeth “We need to talk. You see we have a little problem.”  
She watched his little display of preening “WE….. don’t have any problem” she spat the words out mirroring his disapproval “I have 2 weeks, what I do in that time is my business” His face contorted as he reddened with anger “WE….. DO! THAT IS…. ME…. AND….. YOU!” He seemed to regain his composure quickly and continued “You see I have noticed some supplies you’ve been buying might be effective at stopping my hounds collecting as per your agreement.” Catherine tried to feign innocence and just shrugged.  
His eyes lowered to the bag on the floor and slowly worked up her body till his hazel eyes met hers. He didn’t even try to hide the depraved nature of his stare. “You know dam well you have a copy of Bodins – Fleau des Demons et Sorciers . It just so happens to be very rare and straight from the horse’s mouth so to speak.” Catherine just stared back in ignorance. Trying not to squirm under his gaze or watch the way he rested his teeth on his bottom lip, almost biting, but stopping to smirk. He decided to play along with the Charade and continued his narrative as if it might jog her memory “Bodin was possessed and when the Demon left he retained the knowledge and you my lucky little McQueen stumbled upon it and I do know you stumbled, which is why your dumb act might not be much of an act.”  
He stood up from his stool and waited for a response, but this was one hole Catharine wasn’t going to dig deeper into.  
She hadn’t stumbled at all, well maybe a little, but he was starting to creep her out. She had been attractive once, but the lack of sleep, the dirt and her desire to hide her looks and just blend in had worked. He seemed to see through that and she wasn’t used to having men stare at her in anyway, let alone soulless demonic vessels with nothing better to do than spoil her alcohol buzz.  
She turned away and spun the glass between her fingers. She Kept him in her peripheral vision, but avoiding eye contact. She didn’t want to be dissected like some subservient play toy. She was sick of feeling like the lowest animal on the food chain, but that’s how the gouls view the human race, she’d learned that much over the last 10 years.  
She saw his body straighten in indignation, not giving him the attention outraged his ego, and he stood up from his stool. His smile became a crueller, more sadistic version of the one sided smirk earlier and his face went a deep crimson. “No one gets one over on me darling. Did you really think we wouldn’t know?” He spat ever word out as he shouted.  
Catherine knew she’d fucked up. The plan had been a long shot, but it seems it hadn’t been as half-baked as she thought. She scrambled from the stool grabbing her bag. This wasn’t a fight she was going to win so an early exit was needed. As she bolted for the back door she felt her body hit a hard chest and a vice like grip on her upper arms. His height and build were deceiving. Her body felt like it had just hit a brick wall and his grip wouldn’t give no matter how much she struggled and tried to pull away. He looked down on her biting his lower lip again, chuckling. The bastard was enjoying this. The more she struggled the tighter his grip got, but she had nothing more to lose. The pain became unbearable, but she continued to struggle and refused to cry out and give him the satisfaction.  
“Don’t fight, that just makes it more fun. I don’t want to be defiling your corpse later.”  
Her humorous felt like they might crack and splinter under the pressure and it became too much. She collapsed on his chest. She screamed out bringing the burn of tears to her eyes going limp and playing dead. She tried to stop the tears, but it developed to a sob. Rolling out of her and releasing the build-up of weeks of running and years of living knowing she could never really settle down, make friends and be normal.  
The pressure on her arms released and his right hand rose to cup the back of her head.  
“Why care if just one person gets away.” She managed through the tears.  
He stroked her hair, but he didn’t release her other arm. The pain had gone but it was clear she wasn’t going to be able to break away. He could break every bone in her body without even breaking a sweat. “A deal’s a deal, it was your terms and we delivered. My hands are tied, now it’s time to pay the piper Catherine and due to your clever little plan I’m collecting early.”  
She pulled herself away from his chest. It was far to intimate a position, especially considering her emotional state. His left hand lowered to the base of her back as he looked down with a gleam of smug satisfaction. “You know so few people show the drive and aptitude you have. You’ll make a nice little addition to my team.” He mimicked her sad face, turning the corners of his mouth down like a sick tragedy mask.  
Catherine saw red. She felt the heat rise to her face and her back teeth grind together. He knew he’d screwed her over and now he was feigning sympathy and mocking her desperation.  
She pounded and screamed into his chest “You fucking know that deal was bullshit. I was 16 and in love with a jumped up prick. So I got him as per the deal, but six months later he was shacked up with my best friend. I was just a child, so you fucked me over and now you’re doing it again. I still have 2 weeks you suit wearing, smug Al Pachino wanna be, son of a fucking bitch.”  
With each insult his face moved into a darker snarl. A crazed glaze over shadowed his eyes. “Now, now, let’s not start name calling.” He said while he tapped her nose playfully. “You chose what you wanted, you got it. I now get what I want.” He winked as a low chuckle sounded from his chest.  
She spat in his face and he released his grip and reached in his trouser pocket for a handkerchief, wiping his face. She pushed him away and tried to run for the door and free herself from his arm, but his hand shot up and grabbed her hair as she turned. He pulled her towards him winding the hair until his fist was against her scalp. Leaning into her back he kissed her neck as he stroked her stomach. His breath working up her neck as he moved to her ear, brushing his lips against the lobe.  
He spoke each word through clenched teeth with a whisper, rasping with each word “I can see you’re going to be allot of fun to break in, I might even break you in myself. I give you a hundred years till you beg to work for me.”  
His hand moved across her jeans waist band, and his thumb slipped under the denim. She felt the bile rise in the back of her throat as she tried to grab his hand from her trousers. He pulled her hair tighter and she screamed out lifting her hands to the back of her head. He nibbled at her ear and moved his lips over the nape of her neck. Her body betrayed her as she felt the tingling warm heat build at the back of her head and work down her spine to her groin. The heat erupted leaving her feeling aroused and angry.  
“You know if you keep struggling like that, we may be starting sooner rather than later.” He slipped the rest of his hands into the denim making Catherine squirm more. The delight in his voice showed as he kissed her neck and swayed to the opening sequence of Got you (Where I want you) by the Flys “Poor Catherine, never been with a real man, just a prepubescent boy.”  
He continued to sway as he nuzzled her neck with his nose. The song carried on playing as he held her. She knew he was toying with her, enjoying her discomfort, the more she fought the more fun he had, so she submitted to the twisted little dance. As the lines “got you where I want you, again” played he hummed along into her neck as his lips toyed with her skin.  
She moved her hands from her head and felt the gasp as he released his grip of her hair and his hand moved towards her stomach, pulling her in closer. The dance started to take on a surreal quality as she swayed and she felt herself start to enjoy the movement and sensation of his lips. She turned into his embrace, placing her head on his chest, with her hands resting on his shoulders. She wanted him to kiss her and as she buried her head into his jacket, she could smell his aftershave. The musky, dry scent filled her head. His hands slipped under her shirt and stroked the base of her back. As he played in a circular motion with one hand the second traced the line of her spine. Her head tipped back as the burning sensation built. He looked down at her and smiled, but it held no malice, just a curiosity and want. He parted his lips as if toying with the thought of a kiss.  
His hands moved down to the cheeks of her buttocks as he pulled her pelvis deeper into him. As she felt the contact of her pelvis against his groin she cried out in surprise, but he stifled her moan with a kiss. His mouth covered hers and she parted her lips and let the flavour of Scotch and the heat of him fill her.  
He lifted her toward the bar, her back hitting the wood, but the pain didn’t register as her knees lifted to allow his torso to push deeper into her. His kisses became deeper more frantic, his tongue toying with hers. His hand pulled at the button on her jeans. 

She sobered suddenly, this couldn’t happen not hear, not with him. She’d abstained from intimacy in favour of her hunt for a way out of the deal and she’d kept herself, never letting anyone get close, but now she was wrapped around a demon and seconds away from letting him take her there and then.  
She pulled away from his lips and he pushed harder against her, trapping her between the bar and him. Freeing his other hand to pull at the buttons on her shirt as he bit down on her neck. She tried pushing him away, but he was to strong. “Stop! No!”  
As he cupped her Breast and pulled on the cup to release her nipple, she felt her resolve soften. His fingers massaged and pulled until he felt them become erect. She moaned into his mouth, which quickened his pace as he tore her shirt and pulled at her bra straps leaving her breasts exposed. He leaned back and admired the view, with an evil glint.  
He pushed into her groin and she felt his erection through her jeans. Poking at the cloth trying to find a way in. His hand moved down her body and into her open trousers. She felt her knees tremble as he massaged her Clitoris, moving his middle finger. She felt her body quaking as he closed in on her mouth mimicking the movement with his tongue. Her body was on fire, the depth of his kiss and the movement of his fingers all made her forget what he was. As his pace quickened she felt the build and struggled to get her breath. She pulled away from his mouth and her body released the orgasm.  
As her senses where assaulted and she felt her legs give way. He released his grip and she fell forwards onto the floor.  
She spun round and kicked her legs back pushing herself as far away as she could. She looked up at him half relived he’d released her, but feeling the loss of intimacy. Her body still burning from his kisses and force. Looking into his eyes made her feel even more humiliated for enjoying it. He looked down on her triumphantly and smiled, his eyes narrowing as he dipped his head.  
He was wallowing in the fact that she looked so vulnerable and undignified on the floor of the grubby bar. He had her and he knew it and it made his grin even more unbearable. He wiped the side of his mouth with his thumb and index finger. “Leave your bag of tricks here. You won’t be needing them where we are going.”  
He walked past her towards the door, pulled the handle and gestured for her to leave first. “Shall we” He said as he tilted his head and feigned impatience as he watched her trying to button her shirt and jeans, still red from her release.  
This wasn’t going to happen. She couldn’t go with him, she knew where this would lead and she’d sold her soul already, her body wasn’t next “Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus omigo satanica pro, FUCK!”  
She’d memorised this 5 years ago and now when she needed it her mind was blank.  
He laughed, letting go of the door, it’s hinges shrieked as he mocked her efforts at an exorcism. “I don’t think friendly satanic copulation is going to help.”  
She pushed herself onto all fours and made a dramatic effort to get to her feet. As she did she reached into her bag and prayed the hound repellent would be the first thing she could grab. He had her arm before she could even grab anything out of the bag. How did he clear the space so quickly? If she ran he’d be on her in a second, she couldn’t even see him move, he was just there.  
He lifted her arm to his face, forcing her to meet his gaze “I wouldn’t try that if I was you.”  
Letting go of her arm he walked out of the bar. Shouting over his shoulder “You were right about one thing. You do still have 2 weeks.” Stopping and turning at the door as he opened it “but we can’t have you running about with your knowledge can we Catherine.” He was gone without even giving her a glance to see if she was behind him. She walked out of the bar following his footsteps, leaving her bag, glass and what was left of any hope of escape behind.


	2. New Deals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catherine finds out what Crowley's plans are and what part she is to play in them

They’d driven for what seemed like hours in silence. She’d taken the seat opposite him in his limo and chosen to stare out the window, but he had been watching her. She could feel his eyes on her and she was afraid of what would happen if she looked back. Why had she let him do that to her. She could still smell his aftershave on her clothes and it aroused and repulsed her at the same time. She needed a cold shower and a deep scrub. Maybe then she wouldn’t feel so dirty, used, but satisfied. 

When they’d pulled up at an old slaughter house Catherine had thought about making another run for it, but what was the point. Even if she did get away she didn’t know where she was and she had no money. 

He led her through the building in silence. There was blood on the floor and the hooks still held the remains of, what Catherine prayed, was Cow or Pig. At the back of the factory was a square container from a shipping yard. She had four walls, a little heat and a bed. Things could have been worse. A bucket and sponge sat on the table with some basic toiletries. Putting her hand into the water to test the temperature brought her to her senses. It was ice cold. He sauntered over to the bucket and placed his finger in and the water started to boil.   
“It might not be the most luxurious accommodation, but we can’t have you bathing in cold water, you’d catch your death.” He winked and walked out of the door. She covered her ears as the metal scraped against the concrete floor. No chance of a silent escape then.   
After a wash down and clean clothes she felt a little better. The top was to low cut and the Jeans skin tight, but she was clean and couldn’t smell him anymore. The vodka had sowered in her mouth and left her feeling a little hung over. She used the tooth brush and tooth paste and decided to try and sleep in the hope she’d have a better idea of what to do after some sleep. 

She slept for what seemed like a few minutes and then awoke to the sound of metal on concrete. His silhouette stood in the door.   
“Slept well have we? “ He walked across the room and stood at the end of the bed. She couldn’t see his face, but his shadow stopped the light shining in her eyes.   
“How long have I been asleep?” She asked.  
“I’d say about 12 hours. Luckily I had some business to attend to.”  
She sat up and wrapped her hands around her knees. The previous night’s events replaying in her head. The thought of his hands on her and how she’d let him, shuddering, she quickly pushed the thought to the back of her mind. He sat himself on the end of the bed, gestured with his hand and the lights overhead came on. He looked her over and smiled as if sharing a private joke with himself.   
“What’s going to happen to me now? You’ve brought me here, locked me up. I’m just wondering what I’m expected to do for two weeks.”   
“Well that depends on you dearest.” He stroked her bare foot forcing her to pull her legs deeper into her chest moving it out of reach of his fingers, with a sadistic grin he continued “ I have things I need to do, people I need to see, but I’m sure I can factor a little time in for you. You can either spend the two weeks in solitude or if you play nice, I could find ways to keep you amused.” He raised one eyebrow and looked at her through semi closed eyelids “and you never know maybe you’ll enjoy my company. You seemed to be having fun last night”   
Catherine couldn’t hold back, she kicked her leg out to shove him of the bed, but he didn’t move and chuckled.  
“You Bastard, I was drunk. Just who the fuck are you anyway and why have you been given the job of babysitting me? Leave me the fuck alone you stupid, smug mother fucking bastard. Demons are the lowest fucking form of infestation on this planet and I am not into bestiality you fucking animal.” She went to throw a punch, but thought better of it after his display of strength in the bar last night.  
“There’s no shame in it Pussy cat, if I remember rightly bestiality held an erotic value to you last night.” He rose from the bed and stood over her “But to answer your earlier question, I’m Crowley and in case it had slipped your mind you are a fortnight away from becoming part of the infestation.” He leant over her and she could see she’d struck a nerve somewhere in her little rant or maybe it was just the fact that she had just lost her cool and screamed a stream of obscenities his way. His face was reddening and he was biting his lower lip as if it helped to hold back what he wanted to say or do.   
Spitting the words out with as much venom as she could muster she turned on him “Not if I can help it, the first chance I get I’m out of here and not you or Lucifer will stop me.” She realised she had just shown a red rag to a bull, but she couldn’t stop herself. He made her so angry.   
“Is that anyway to talk to your Boss? Long story short, but Lucifer isn’t around anymore you arrogant little whore. FYI the names Crowley and I don’t like to use the title, but I think we’re past the point of pretence. I’m King of Hell “  
Catherine found herself laughing. She tried to stop, but still couldn’t help but smile. Did he really expect her to believe he ran Hell? She heard Demons were liars, but she always had been led to believe they were good at it.   
“If you say so Crowley” She went to get up from the bed, but he shoved her back down and she heard a crack as her shoulder jarred against the wall. He held out his hand and she found herself moving up the wall levitated by an unseen power. Crowley smiled as, Catherine struggled against the force. He lowered his hand but she remained trapped.   
“I wouldn’t test me.” He gritted his teeth and spat the words out “ While I find you useful at the moment, that can change. Once your little outbursts stop becoming amusing I might just snap that pretty little neck of yours. This is just a little tickle compared to what I can do. ”  
Catherine cried out and pleaded with Crowley “I’m sorry Crowley, please it hurts, I can’t breath. Crowley please”  
He released her and she instantly went to the furthest corner of the bed and hugged her knees.   
“Shall we continue with our transaction or do I need to remind you further on who and what I am.”  
Catherine nodded her head in agreement. “Why do you care what happens to me. You could just kill me now. Collect early and save yourself the bother”   
“I’m not “babysitting” I’m just protecting my investment.”   
“but how am I an investment, let alone even on the radar of the King of Hell” She asked hoping acknowledging his position, whether she believed him or not, would keep him sweet.  
“Do you want the long or short answer?”   
Before she could think about what she was saying, it left her lips and bounced dangerously out into the air “The truth would be a novel idea”  
Crowley leaned over her and through gritted teeth shouted in her face “You my impetuous little friend have potential, if you live past the 2 weeks.”   
He straightened himself, regained his composure and walked away from the bed “Demons are Cruel and very stupid. If I’d have sent along another Demon, firstly I think you would have escaped and secondly I’d have had to spend the whole time checking you weren’t being tortured within an inch of your life. I meant it when I said I had plans for you. I’ve been surrounded by incompetence, you have potential. Most Demons spend years having the humanity beaten out of them and stupid humans make stupid demons. They make deals for selfish and moronic reasons. Torture toughens them up, but it doesn’t help their grey matter to develop.”  
Catherine was confused, her anger was subsiding and the futility of the situation was becoming more apparent to her. She c couldn’t escape while he was here and thanks to her earlier outburst he was aware she wanted to escape. She needed to play nice if she was going to get away and control her temper, he would snap her neck and she was pushing her luck.  
“Demons are stupid, but I’m sorry Crowley, this doesn’t explain why I am here and what you want with me?”  
“You’re my proto type, I’m trying things differently to see if I get a better, smarter breed of Demon. Your case was an unusual one; you were too young when you made the deal, hormonal and very head strong. I was desperate for a candidate so decided to do a little reconnaissance. Your research and resourceful nature, not to mention your dislike of company, made you the ideal candidate.”  
“I hate Demons, why would I make an ideal candidate.” She bit her tongue and tried smiling to soften the insult.   
Crowley sat back down on the bed, close enough he was almost touching her feet, giving her no room to move and making her very uncomfortable. “That makes two of us. They are a bunch of Sadistic, lying, moronic, prats. I need someone I can trust, who can think outside the box and can work at my speed. Despite your foul language and temper, I believe we could work well together.” He leant over towards Catherine his hands either side of her feet and moving in closer to her face “So you my dear are in a very fortunate position. If you play nice, don’t try anything stupid and curb your defiant nature towards authority, you get to advance to the top of the food chain, without a few hundred years of torture.”  
Catherine looked down sheepishly and chewed her bottom lip “So I’m good Demon material so I get to bypass the torture? All I have to do is behave?”   
Crowley nodded “Trust me when I say, what I have to offer is by far better than the alternative. So do we have an agreement then?”  
Crowley looked into her eyes and for a moment Catherine thought she saw a little desperation. This could be something she could use to her advantage; she had no intentions of becoming Crowley’s personal Demon assistant. If it bought her some time and a chance to escape it was worth agreeing in the short term.   
“We have a deal, but on one condition, any physical interactions are to stop, no sexual or violent advances Crowley.”   
“If you agree to curb that spit fire temper. “ Catherine nodded.  
Crowley made a mock frown but nodded in agreement “I won’t harm a pretty little hair on that head, unless you ask, if we can’t seal the deal with a kiss a a gentlemen’s agreement will suffice.”   
He smiled and for the first time Catherine saw his real smile, not the cruel sadistic smile or his smug grin and it took her by surprise. Two dimples appeared either side of his mouth and his features softened. Despite herself she regretted not accepting the kiss. She quickly pushed the feeling away, getting out was her aim.   
“I have something that’ll help pass some time why you’re here.” Crowley was gone.  
Catherine sat in the empty room and looked around. Would she risk trying to escape, then getting caught and be on the wrong side of Crowley and the rest of hell. The torture was the part she was least looking forward to. She’d read so much about what was waiting for her, now it seemed stupid to run for the rest of her life, to finally die of natural causes and face the torture she now had escaped. She stopped her train of thought. If she stayed, she knew what would be expected of her, to make deals and other people’s lives miserable. She couldn’t do that, not ever. She might not like humanity, but she wouldn’t do to someone else what had been done to her. She missed out on so much and couldn’t face doing it to anyone else. 

He reappeared holding a box and a look of glee on his face.  
“I had some old texts lying around and thought you might like to look through them. The knowledge will come in handy and it will kill some time while you wait around for yours truly.” He placed them on the bed.  
Catherine decided to make the most of his good nature and see how far it would get her. In her sweetest voice she looked at Crowley and attempted to make puppy dog eyes “Don’t suppose I could have my bag. I could do with some music and my note books for research? Oh and some food?”  
Crowley smiled and moved in close, closing the space between them in a split second. She could feel the breath on her face and was both aroused and afraid. Lifting her head with his hand so their eyes met, he scanned her face trying to read her emotions.   
“Now that depends on you. If you can behave yourself while I’m gone you never know your luck.” His lips were almost touching hers and she closed her eyes waiting for the contact. He chuckled and let his lips trace their way towards her ear.  
He spoke in a hushed, low growl into her ear “Now I know you’re afraid, the stench of it is on your skin, but you also have an aroma of lust. My two favourite fragrances.”  
Catherine felt every breath and word vibrate through her body and she stifled a small moan that escaped he lips. “Crowley, we agreed no physical stuff. I meant that” it took every ounce of her restraint not to pull him towards her and give in.   
“I don’t mix business and pleasure, but I may make an exception in your case. Then I wonder how it would affect my end game” He pulled back so he could see her eyes. “Emotions aren’t part of my plan for you” His hand slid down her back cupping her cheek in hand and squeezing tight “ but then fucking doesn’t stir the emotions…...”  
Catherine cut him off “Crowley, we agreed”   
“You haven’t asked me to stop. It could be just a one-time deal. Release a little stress” His lips moved against hers as he spoke and his other hand slid down her back “I promise to be gentle, if you want me to.” His eyes had half closed with lust and his mouth was poised half open inviting her to close in on them.   
He moved back and looked deep into her eyes, she was already feeling the flush and her body needed this.   
He read her like a book and just uttered the words “Shall we” before closing his lips around hers.   
Catherine managed to push him of and scramble of the bed.  
“No Crowley. No means no!” Getting sexually involved with Crowley just made her feel guilty. No matter how much she enjoyed it. After the initial glow, the shame crept through her shudder by shudder.   
Crowley looked shocked and disappointed at her little escape, but recovered quickly and shrugged.  
“As you wish, I have business to attend to, but I’ll be back.” He was gone.   
So Crowley wanted her as a Demon, but not just any Demon, his assistant and confidante. There were allot worse positions in hell and an eternity of studying didn’t sound too bad. She wondered if she could get away with having a position like hells librarian, she wouldn’t have to make deals and could hide. He seemed pretty flexible on the terms and she had a feeling she could negotiate a nice little package for herself.   
She opened the box and worked through the texts. Research would stop her mind wandering onto the other things she could do with Crowley. Guilt didn’t suite her and she knew she wore a suit of it after the bar, she’d be shuddering her way through her mortal life if she gave into full on and possibly sadistic sex with him. She buried her head and thoughts in her books and shut the world out.


	3. Decisions

Catherine was startled from her reading by a cough. She lifted her head to see Crowley sat on an armchair in front of her.   
“Sorry, I was distracted. What’s with the chair?” She went to stand, but the pins and needles shot up her leg. “Shit!”   
Crowley laughed, his face warming his eyes wrinkled in amusement. It made him look older, but it suited him. Standing up he helped her over to the chair. The pain was still shooting up her thigh and she wiggled her leg to help bring the feeling back to her foot, but this just caused more pain to travel up her leg. Crowley chuckled to himself as he stood watching her jiggle on the chair, as a fresh wave of pain shot into her cheek, she wiggled her leg more franticly in an effort to get the blood back to her muscles. She started laughing which made the pain worse, but her own stupidity amused her.  
“I assumed you’d be needing it. Guess I was right.” Crowley walked over to the books and examined the page she had been reading. He closed the book she'd been reading with his foot to read the title. He waited for her to stop flailing her leg around ands tilted his head questioning her on her choice of reading “Enochian Magick?”  
“Yeah, I guess if Demons are real then so are angels". She hoped Crowley hadn’t figured out the real reason she was looking through the texts. Summoning an angel for help would not go down well with his royal heiness.  
He looked up at the ceiling and smiled. She hadn't fooled him, but he didn't seem to mind. “Just a word to the wise, I angel proofed the building. Sometimes our guests have connections and we wouldn't want one of the Winged Warriors showing up and relieving us of their company.”   
She tried to look hurt and upset at his accusations. “I was just reading to kill some time. I made a deal remember.” Hiding the disappointment that her escape plan had been foiled yet again she examined the chair arm avoiding eye contact. He always seemed to be one step ahead of her.   
He placed his hands on the chair arms blocking her in. She waited for him to loose his temper or threaten her in some way. He moved closer so his face was inches away from hers, his hand reached to the side of the chair and she closed her eyes waiting for him to either strike her or kiss her. He placed a bag on her lap, amused at her reaction “It wouldn’t be the first deal you tried to duck out of.”   
Opening the contents a little nervous of what she might find inside she smiled. It was only a sandwich and a drink, but she was starving . “Not that I don’t appreciate this, but there’s one problem, unless you want me to crouch in a corner like and animal, I’m going to need a bathroom.”   
Crowley sat on the bed across from her and puffed his cheeks out in exasperation. “I guess we have two options then. Your choice of course. Firstly we could take your soul now and you could start your internship.” Crowley looked hopeful.  
Inbetween bites as she inhaled the sandwich she narrowed her eyes at Crowley and said “I’d rather squat and cope with the smell. What’s option two?”   
“We could move you to more comfortable accommodations, a little less secure my little Mqueen, but I’m sure I could find an incentive for you to stay put.” He poored himself a glass of what smelt like whiskey. He’d clearly been shopping, but she'd been to engrossed in her book to see the 2 glasses and note book and pen on the table.   
“I don’t suppose you brought some Vodka to go in the second glass?” She could do with a drink, she didn’t have to worry about the harm it was doing to her body anymore and on an almost empty stomach the numbing effect of the alcohol would be rather pleasant right now.   
“Really? You’d prefer that Swill? Brains doesn’t always mean taste I see.” With a look of disgust he poured her a whiskey and handed it over. “Just be happy I brought another glass.”  
She accepted gladly and knocked back the whiskey in one. “So when do I get to see my new digs and where are they?”  
Maybe if they were less secure she could hatch a new plan and not that she didn't just adore the metal walls, no running water and grim view of her current prison, more comfort and maybe a window would help her judge the time better so she could get her sleeping pattern back and think straight.   
Crowley stood up and held out his hand “Where is none of your business, but I can take you there now.”   
She grabbed it willingly and used it to pull herself up from the chair “I can catch some sleep on the journey and maybe a little more reading. Will it take long?”   
He pulled her towards him, wrapping his arm around her waist. Before she could protest he leant down and whispered in her ear “Hold on tight."   
He chuckled and suddenly her surroundings changed. Instead of the metal walls, dark wood panelling, a double stair case and red velvet drapes appeared before her. The balcony above the stairs had two large full length windows and light streamed in, she had to squint to allow her eyes to adjust, but she could see a life size picture of Crowley petting what looked like a dog mounted inbetween the windows. The dog was almost the size of Crowley and had a strange blue tinge to it’s fur.   
She felt a little sick and disorientated, Crowley held onto her as she felt her legs give way under her. His strong arms held her up preventing her landing in a heap at his feet and he guided her towards a leather chair, dark wood chair next to the staircase.  
“That's the second time today you've been the damsel in distress.” He walked into the middle of the spacious reception room and held his arms out in a grand gesture “Welcome to your new “digs”. Impenetrable from angels, demons and anything else that goes bump in the night. If you feel the need to escape I'm sure you'd make a lovely chew toy for one of my hounds." He waited for her reaction and stood in the middle of the impressive hallway awaiting her response.   
Catherine started to feel a little green around the gills and placed her head between her legs and fought the urge to throw up all over the thick pilled red rug in front of her.   
“That wasn’t the reaction I expected.” He said with a wicked smile.   
She was lifted from the seat and cradled like a child, she guessed they were traveling up the stairs. Her weight was no effort for him and in no time she felt herself being placed on a what she assumed was a bed.   
She rolled onto her back covering her forehead with her arm. She tried to calm her stomach by breathing deeply, she didn't feel as green around the gills, but her body hadn't recovered from whatever he's done to get them there.  
She heard Crowley move to the other side of the room and open a door. “If you must, the bathroom is here. I’ve just had the carpets cleaned.”  
Sitting up and moving to the edge of the bed she looked at him apologetically, she felt very vulnerable and human. He was right, twice that day he'd come to her rescue and she was the one who had made the deal in the first place. It may have been unfair, but it was time she accepted the consequences for her actions. She tried to smile as she spoke to him "Thank you.....Sorry, I didn't expect the whole beam me up scotty thing.” She walked towards the bathroom and closed the door. After splashing her face with water she felt better. She looked in the mirror, death warmed up was the only thing that came to mind. She tried brushing her fingers through her hair to sort out the tangled mess. She needed a shower and to freshen up. She emerged from the bathroom.   
“Feeling better?”  
Catherine nodded. The room was a bright white finished in a French style elegance, every piece of furniture held scrolled legs and carved angels. A queen sized four poster bed dominated the centre of the room, two large windows filled an entire wall with a triple book case separating them, a large white desk sat to the right of the bookcase overlooking the green gardens. On the desk the whiskey, tumblers and note pad from the container were lined up neatly, a small cd player lay behind them. She wandered over to examine the 4 cd’s next to it. She ran her finger over the spines of the books glancing at their titles , more enochiam Magick books, demon law and occult books. This was Catherine's idea of heaven, picking up the cd’s she turned to Crowley and laughed “Marvin Gaye, Barry White, Billy Paul and Frank Sinatra? Please tell me there’s a radio station on the hi-fi?”  
Crowley smiled and the dimples showed again.   
“No, I'm afraid not, but I thought I’d use the opportunity to expand your horizons. If we are going to be spending the rest of eternity….” He paused and changed track “Working together, we are going to do things my way. I have to say your taste in music leaves allot to be desired.”  
Catherine pretended pout like a child and put the cd’s down. “ I guess I can just hum my own songs.” She winked at Crowley and started to hum the opening lines to Iron Man by Black Sabbath. Crowley laughed and flicked his finger and Barry White came out of the speakers on the cd player. Catherine tried to hum louder, but the volume increased as Barry sang “My darling I, can’t get enough of your love baby”.  
Catherine tried to hum louder but she ended up giggling. Crowley turned the volume down with a small flick of his finger and smiled triumphantly "Do you admit defeat?".   
Catherine sat down in the chair for a second then decided to change her tactics and reached over to turn the cd player of, but Crowley flashed across the room gripping her wrist. “Expand your horizons ducky, it wouldn’t kill you to improve your taste in music.” He smiled playfully and she couldn’t help but laugh.   
The music volume went down and wiggled her wrist out of his grip. She held his eyes, he looked different, more at ease, she was enjoying his company and she felt relieved she no longer had to hide. The running was over, she felt like a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders.   
"Is there no chance of a compromise Crowley? Maybe 1 day of your music and then a day of mine?" She smiled hopefully, but Crowley shook his head playfully. "How about 2 days of your music and a day of mine?"   
He placed his hand on hers and smiled wickedly as he moved in closer to her "It's non negotiable my dear. Unless you have something I want that you could use as a bargaining tool."   
"Well I'm sure we could work something out." Catherine moved her hand and placed it on top of his. "I promise not to hum Sabbath if you let me listen to my music when I'm alone? I heard it has been used as a form of torture." She winked.   
Crowley let out a low deep laugh "It's like that is it? May I remind you I am more than skilled at different forms of torture." He raised his eyebrow "The things I could teach you. You do know pleasure can become torture and pain pleasure?"   
Catherine felt her face go red, but she didn't need to guess how skilled he was in both pleasure and pain and the thought didn't help bring her temperature down. She moved her hand from his and reached for the whiskey to poor herself another drink and relieve the tension. She poured two glasses and leant back in the chair as she sipped her drink and avoided his eyes.   
A long silence passed as they both drank. She enjoyed the silence but a niggling thought kept burning at her tongue and she had to ask.   
“Will I be able to use telekinesis?” She really wanted to be able to, while there were allot of downsides to becoming a demon, controlling electric items with her mind seemed like something she could really benefit from.  
Crowley leaned against the desk and seemed a little taken aback by the question, but recovering quickly he took a sip from his drink. “At first you won’t, you don’t have the mojo. With time....maybe. It’s not an exact science.” 

She’d read that some Demons had natural abilities in different areas and others could be enhanced with spells and the number of souls they signed. Souls they signed, that was a sobering thought, doing deals. The reality of her situation came crashing down on her and her smile faded. She wasn’t going to get away. This was it for her. She had 12 days if that left and she was dammed for all eternity. The man who’d she’d just joked with, who'd genuinely made her laugh, was evil and not just any evil, but the ultimate evil. He was her prison guard, her captor, she hadn’t laughed in so long, now she understood Stockholm syndrome. She had to keep her wits about her, not get drawn in. 

Crowley saw her change in mood and a look of concern crossed his face. “What’s wrong, is the Barry White not to your taste?” He asked playfully.  
She smiled again despite herself, but then pulled herself together. She looked down at her feet and scuffed her heels on the carpet “Honestly?”  
He grabbed another chair from the corner of the room and sat facing her. He lifted her face to meet his by placing his finger under her chin. He looked so sincere and her own melancholy had brushed of on him. There was no sign of malice or anger, just concern.  
“Honestly.” He said and he looked at her inviting her to share her concerns. Dam, why couldn't he just shout at her, throw abuse. She felt a lump build in her throat and tears fell down cheeks. She wiped them away with her hands and took his fingers from under her chin. His anger didn't surface and the concern still showed in his eyes. She could see the warmth in them and genuine feeling. She tried to pull herself together, stop the crying but she couldn't.   
“I don’t want this. I can’t do it. I’m not demon material. If you asked me to take another soul, to trick another person to go through everything I’ve been through these last ten years, I just can’t do it. I could never take a life like that or any other way. How am I supposed to go through eternity knowing the horrors I’ve inflicted on other people. I think you chose the wrong person.”  
The tears continued down her face and she sniffled. She felt hopless, but most of all angry at herself. She didn’t do this. She didn’t cry, but then she’d seen very little kindness over the years. She’d only had brief encounters with people and kept it to a minimum. She knew she couldn't stay in one place to long, she didn't want to. After a year of moving around and making new friends in different places. Getting to know people, to then just disappear to chase a theory that might save her, she'd lost the desire for other peoples company. Crowley had been so nice to her, she hadn’t been ready for that.   
He handed her a handkerchief from his pocket and she dried her eyes and blew her nose, she was aware how unattractive she must look right now, but what did it matter, really, why did it matter to her?  
Crowley took her cheek in his hand and smoothed away a tear with his thumb. “It’s easier than you think. What we do is nothing compared to what they do to each other.”   
Catherine shook her head and moved his hand away “Just because they hurt each other it doesn’t give us the right to do the same.”  
“It’s survival Catherine. We do what we need to. It’s the natural order. We were created for that very reason” He stood up from his seat and turned away facing the wall. His hand on his head.   
Catherine was disgusted with his attempt to justify there existence. How could he think this made it right. She felt the anger rise which helped the tears subside. “Just because it’s part of Gods plan, doesn’t mean I can be part of it willingly.” She spat the words out and couldn't hide her disgust from Crowley. She didn't want to hurt him, but she couldn't let him think she accepted his explanation.   
Crowley turned and before she knew it he was in her face, the reddening anger had returned and he spat the words out of his mouth “What did you think hell was Catherine? All rainbows and two headed puppies.”   
Catherine tried backing away, but he grabbed her shoulders and pinned her to the chair. “I’ve got news for you duckie, it’s them or you. Do I have to spell it out for you. YOU….DO….MY …BIDDING….OR….I…..PERONALLY……SEE ……TO….IT…..YOU …..GET…..THE….TORTURE…..RACK…FOR…THE …..REST….OF……ETERNITY. Comprendey? Are we done here?”  
Crowley left the room slamming the door so it splintered on it’s hinges. It was useless. She was Demon or Demon fodder. She made her way to the bed, climbed in and pulled the cover over her head. In her little cocoon she sobbed, the tears kept flowing and her heart felt like it might break. The pain was in her head and heart. Curled in foetal position she cried, for the first time since her first boyfriend left her, after she’d sold her soul for his love, she cried. It built in waves, when she thought she couldn’t cry anymore a new wave would hit her and the pain would intensify again. She didn’t know how she would go on, but there was no way out. Suicide was pointless, escape was impossible and she was trapped between the devil and torture. Her head hurt, her body ached and she was desperate, desperate for an alternative, a way out. She prayed, but she knew it was pointless. She was doomed.

**Author's Note:**

> Sexual content


End file.
